Brooklyn’s Predictions for 2012

by Mary Frost

BROOKLYN — As we bid adieu to 2011, we turn to the future and ask: What could possibly happen next? Will the stock market skyrocket? Will the Nets win their first Brooklyn season? Will the city sell the naming rights to the Promenade? Will the Euro fail?

We asked some of Brooklyn’s most prescient movers and shakers to look in their crystal balls and share their revelations about the upcoming year — and we expect, as usual, that these predictions will be 100 percent accurate.

If you want to know what 2012 will bring, here are some predictions from Brooklyn’s most prescient prognosticators:

Borough President Marty Markowitz:
My prediction for 2012 is that Barbra Streisand, Carole King, Neil Diamond or Barry Manilow — all born in Brooklyn — will play their very first Brooklyn shows ever!

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Councilman Jumaane Williams:
The pressure will intensify for Mayor Bloomberg and Commissioner Kelly to recognize there is a crisis regarding institutionalized racism in the NYPD. They will either answer the call to make that recognition, or it will turn into a litmus test in communities of more color for the 2013 mayoral race. And my favorite sports team, the Knicks, will continue to trade for the oldest and most injured among us.

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BAM President Karen Brooks Hopkins:
I predict that in 2012 Brooklyn will become the number one tourist destination in the world for visitors from 20-30 years old. Hey, we are already the “coolest city on the planet” according to GQ – now let’s see those tourism dollars!

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Karen Auster, Auster Events:
Brooklyn will continue to be the place to be for artists, designers and foodies. We have our own beer, whiskey, wine, and in 2012 I predict we will have our own dog breed.

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Lisa Jamhoury, aerial acrobat and communications professional:
The 2012 apocalypse will come as a duct tape, canned food, and bottled water shortage.

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Isaac Fen, Flatbush resident:
Romney will get the GOP nomination, and one of the more extreme candidates will run as an independent. Obama will barely win the presidency with the help of the Nader effect. Occupy movements will pick up again in the spring and lead to myriad editorials on the similarities and differences between the summer of ‘69 and the summer of ‘12. The EU won’t break up, but will go through some pretty substantial policy changes. Greece and the Euro will stay. Fidel Castro will pass away.

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Mary Lou Bunn, Brooklyn Women’s Exchange:
The New York Knicks will win the Atlantic Division and Tiger Woods will win a major title, sustaining the necessary tension between good and evil in the universe.

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Frank H. Jump, Fading Ad Blog 
It will be revealed that Michele Bachmann’s husband has had a torrid 20-year relationship with a gay lover. NASA will launch a new space program to colonize the galaxy, targeting an “Earthlike” planet 50,000 light-years away using newly developed propulsion and hibernation technology. Herman Cain will volunteer to take the 50,000 light-year trip. Myanmar will have a popular uprising ousting military dictatorship, and Aung San Suu Kyi will become the first elected leader of the new democratic nation.

* * *

MK Metz, McBrooklyn blog 
Google will open a branch office in DUMBO. A third Patsy Grimaldi’s will open next to the other two on Old Fulton Street. Smart entrepreneurs will make fortunes from selling survival gear to those who think the world will end in 2012.

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Ben, Brooklyn Eagle:
Everyone will suddenly get really, really bored of Facebook, Twitter and other social media and start moving to new third-party entities more personally tailored to age/gender demographics and with better features for usage on your smartphone — such as blending using your list of friends and their pages as your phone’s directory of numbers.

* * *

Lucien Zayan, owner, The Invisible Dog
Today, Brooklyn is the center of the world. I’m quite sure that in 2012, the exact location will be around Bergen Street, between Smith Street and Boerum Place (the location of The Invisible Dog).

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yaBEZ, artist/poet
The ‘Occupy’ movement that became prominent in late 2011 and that already is an international phenomenon will be sweeping major cities in greater numbers, brewing riots and dominating the news. President Obama will again win by a landslide.

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“Nostradamus”
Despite the best efforts of the Italian government, a long, nationwide strike will cripple the Italian economy, leading to a default on Italian bonds, leading to the crash of the euro, leading to a world-wide depression. It will be the rare Americans who still own their homes. People will be hungry and dying in the streets.

* * *

Raanan Geberer, Brooklyn Eagle:
The Nets will have a successful opener but will fade as the season continues. A natural disaster will hit parts of Brooklyn, but the consequences won’t be too serious. Williamsburg and Greenpoint will continue to gentrify.

* * *

Francesca Norsen Tate, Brooklyn Heights Press
Obama and Hillary Clinton will surprise the world by switching roles; she’ll run for president in 2012, he will take over as secretary of state. All candidates for national political office will be required by law to learn the U.S. Constitution by heart, and to pass tests in both citizenship and defensive driving.

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Paula Katinas, Bay Ridge Eagle:
Civic and political leaders in Bay Ridge will wage a gallant fight to have the neighborhood redistricted into a single Assembly district. But they will lose their fight and the redistricting process to take place in 2012 will result in the neighborhood continuing to be composed of five separate Assembly districts. Bay Ridge was carved up into five districts during a redistricting in the early 1980s, and local residents hate it. Also, War Horse will win Best Picture at the Oscars, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie will make their relationship legal and get married, and Tim Tebow will lead the Broncos to a Super Bowl win.

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John Torenli, sports writer, Brooklyn Eagle:
The Nets scheduled arrival in Brooklyn in November will go off as planned. Don’t be surprised if Orlando center Dwight Howard joins point guard Deron Williams for the Opening Night festivities at the Barclays Center. Nets owner Mikail Prokhorov will not win the Russian presidency. Disgruntled Mets fans will clamor for former Cyclones manager Wally Backman to replace Terry Collins during the team’s inevitable swoon.

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Ed Breslin, proofreader, Brooklyn Eagle
The word “privacy” will be listed as archaic in the American Heritage Dictionary. Donald Trump will insist on a validation of citizenship for all protestors in the Occupy Wall Street movement. Gridlock will finally become reality on Flatbush and Atlantic avenues as the Nets open in the Atlantic Yards area of Brooklyn.

* * *

Mary Frost, Brooklyn Eagle
Parents and representatives will stage more mass demonstrations as the pace of school closings and co-locations increases. Civil disobedience is a possibility. Borough President Marty Markowitz will make a surprising announcement about his future plans. Flatbush Avenue will be renamed Barclays Boulevard. An ancient steam locomotive will be discovered under Atlantic Avenue, vindicating Atlantic Avenue Tunnel discoverer Bob Diamond.

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